Grooming Marvellous

3:00:00 am

It’s a widely sought view that weddings are all about the bride, all the groom has to do is turn up, isn’t it?

Well actually, no. Grooms traditionally have their own list of tasks to embark upon, a priority for many though, is the bachelor party, yes the stag-do.

But he can forget about that weekend away if he hasn’t sorted those rings, his suit and the honeymoon.

However, it has been known for the groom to arrange the entire wedding. The programme Don’t Tell The Bride run by BBC Three, is a great example of how men are very capable of arranging this huge special event.

Many grooms will be a nervous wreck, a shimmering ball of stress under their cool exterior,

Credit: Bridal Guide

preparing themselves for the world of matrimony.

If you are a groom, who is struggling to understand his wedding role or feels the whole planning is an uncontrolled chaotic event and you’re trying to figure how you’ll be involved, here are a few websites that will help.

Check out the following websites: www.groompower.com, www.groomgroove.com and www.iamstaggered.com. There are also a few magazines dedicated to grooms, 'Grooms Magazine' and 'Groomed'.

'No matter what they tell you, wedding magazines are written for women and a groom is nothing more than a point on the check list. I have read several groom sections (a token page or too)...' Andrew Shanahan – www.Iamstaggered.com

Credit: Green Wedding Shoes

Although the internet is full of tips on speeches or advice on the role of the bride, groom and other wedding participants, the best way for both of you to be involved is to discuss your plans. Talk to each other, understanding each other’s needs and wants is so important to achieving the day you both want. Discussion on dreams, wants and needs for your wedding day should be aired out from the beginning. Although, there are no promises that arguments will be eliminated because of these midnight chats, but at least you’ll be arguing about constructive wedding paraphernalia and not the fact that ‘he just doesn’t seem interested' or 'she's taking too much control'. No-one should assume that every woman has been planning her day from being a little girl, as it shouldn’t be assumed the groom wants no part in the planning and just turning up will be sufficient.

Organising your wedding can take over your life, many brides have recurring wedding

Credit: Savoir Weddings

nightmares: their car doesn’t turn up, their dress doesn't fit or the groom doesn’t turn up. Not many grooms will admit their unconscious state has turned over some underlying concerns, so if your man wakes in a hot sweat, pat his back and tell him he won’t crash the Tungsten Silver Aston Martin DBS Volante.

So for those grooms out there who are a bit shaky and a bit nervous, don’t worry you’re not alone.

Grooms, you may feel your girlfriend has turned into bridezilla, but you’ll soon have her back, watch out for her, she’ll be the one wearing the stunning dress, the sparkly shoes and the huge grin.

However, to get by for now, here is a small guide to help those shaky grooms threw the hectic months:

If you want to be involved in the planning let your bride know as soon as possible.

Many brides have a vision. Some have been planning their big day since they could walk around in princess shoes and sparkly dresses. However, you might want to wear a certain suit, or a particular colour, discuss this from the beginning, before she starts drawing her own conclusions.

You may be quite happy to let ‘the lady in your life’, plan away, book things and generally ‘just get on with it’.

However, a lot of time and effort goes into the planning, so if you are not 100% happy with anything such as, the venue, cake, photographer or any other suppliers, make your thoughts known. Don’t complain about the costs later.

Enjoy the planning.

It can become quite stressful and if your ‘wife-to-be’ would like your opinion, best to give it and be honest. Help her out, discuss different options with her, it will cause less-stress and less-arguments if you are in it together.

Traditionally, the groom takes responsibility for the first night and honeymoon arrangements, buying rings, choosing the best man and sorting the paperwork.

However, don’t panic, today most of these things are usually discussed together. She’ll more than likely want an input into which diamond she’ll be wearing forever.

One of your big tasks is to make a speech. Scary for those who ‘don’t do public speaking’.

Try and keep your speech short and simple, include thanking the bride’s parents for their wonderful daughter, and then thank your parents, best-man, bridesmaids and guests.

Also, best to say something about your new wife and how happy you are today ... let’s not have your first married argument on your wedding day.